Disney's Remake of Snow White


Did you hear about Disney's remake of its famous classic "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves"? They intend to keep as close to the original fairytale and film as possible.

But of course, Dopey had to go. They thought of renaming him to "Intellectually Challenged" but the marketing department threw the idea out.

Doc as the one dwarf with all the intelligence was definitely out! They didn't even try to salvage anything there.

Bashful, speaking through a press agent, didn't allow his name and features to be used as he didn't like the publicity.

Similar fates befell Sneezy, Sleepy and Grumpy. Disney decided to go out on a limb and keep Happy. They still think it is politically correct to portray someone who is in good humour.

The wicked stepmother? You must be joking. Definitely axed. Ditto the handsome prince. I mean really! Some white guy who has no qualifications to his station other than being born the son of a king? Forget it! Certainly not acceptable in this enlightened age!

The problem with Snow White was a bit more difficult to solve. After all, the heroine is rather difficult to cut. And it does show a female who makes it despite adversity. But the original portrayal was so lame. She was dumb enough to swallow the line about the apple. (And to swallow the apple, for that matter.) It was someone tripping over a stone that brought her back to life, rather than some heroic act on her part.

So they rewrote her part a little bit. She's now a high powered lawyer who takes the old hag from the Better Business Bureau to the Supreme Court, citing unhygienic food preparation and selling apples without a license. Landmark case.

And then they realized that they only had one dwarf left and that he was living with Snow White in some secluded house in the woods..... So when it comes out in time for the Christmas present market, it will unfortunately have to be rated X.

But other than that, it is identical to the original!