How to Tell Democrats From Republicans

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere.
Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.

Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out.

Democrats give their worn-out clothes to those less fortunate.
Republicans wear theirs.

Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should.
Democrats ought to, but don't.

Republicans study the financial pages of the newspapers.
Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.

Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown out of car windows by Democrats.

Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmations, and eyebrows.
Democrats raise Airdales, kid, and taxes.

Democrats eat the fish they catch.
Republicans hang them on the wall.

Republican boys date Democrat girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.

Democrats make up plans and then do something else.
Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.

Republicans sleep in twin beds - some even in separate rooms.
That is why there are more Democrats.