How Things Would Be Different If Microsoft Were Located In
- Their No. 1 product would be "Microsoft Winders".
- Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle.
- Occasionally, you'd bring up a window that was covered with a
Hefty bag and some duct tape.
- Instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel", dialog boxes would give you
the choice of "Aww-right", "Naw", or "Git".
- Instead of "Ta-Dah!", the opening sound would be "Dueling
- The "Recycle Bin" in Winders95 would be an outhouse.
- Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player, you'd hear "Freebird!"
- Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders95 theme song would be
"Boot Scootin' Boogie".
- Powerpoint would be named "ParPawnt".
- Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz".
- Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.
- Daisy Duke screen saver.
- "Well, the first thing you know old Bill's a billionaire..."
- Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.
- Microsoft CEO "Billy-Bob" (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates.
- "ParPawnt" would have a "Pond Scum" and a "Junk Yard"
- One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to
face with a 12 gauge shotgun.
- "This computer protected by Smith and Wesson" screen saver.
- Directions to Corporate Headquarters - "Down the road a block
- Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker-"Hookt on
fonics werkt 4 me".