You May Be an Engineer if...

    If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"

    If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner

    If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie

    If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas

    If Dilbert is your hero *** <----- ***

    If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE

    If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes

    If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail

    If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50

    If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place

    If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys

    If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car

    If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts

    If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string

    If you window shop at Radio Shack

    If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies

    If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area

    If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run

    If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment

    If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is

    If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven

    If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush

    If you own "Official Star Trek" anything

    If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside

    If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception

    If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project

    If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor

    If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts

    If you have never backed-up your hard drive

    If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud

    If you truly believe aliens are living among us

    If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance

    If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"

    If you see a good design and still have to change it

    If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions

    If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it

    If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind

    If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are

    If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires

    If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal

    If you have more toys than your kids

    If you need a checklist to turn on the TV

    If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name

    If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work

    If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight

    If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it

    If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary

    If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already

    If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for

    If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal

    If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use

    If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting

    If people groan at the party when you pick out the music

    If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week

    If you did the sound system for your senior prom

    If your checkbook always balances

    If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone

    If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life

    If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers

    If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep

    If you spend more on your home computer than your car

    If you know what http:/ stands for

    If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio

    If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage

    If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory

    If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate