Two Cows (A comparative study of Governments and Religions)


IF A...

COMMUNIST has two cows,
he gives both to the government, and the government sells him some of the milk.

SOCIALIST has two cows,
he gives both to the government, and the government gives him some of the milk.

NAZI has two cows,
the government shoots him, and takes both cows.

CAPITALIST has two cows,
he sells one, and buys a bull.

NEW DEALIST has two cows,
he kills one milks the other, and throws away the milk.

LIBERALIST has two cows,
he sells them to the rich, then taxes them one cow and gives it to the poor.

CONSERVATIST has two cows,
he locks them up, and charges people to look at them.

ATHEIST has two cows,
he doesn't believe it.

BUDDHIST has two cows,
he milks them, but lets the milk spoil, then he slaughters them, but lets the meat rot. Then he prays for more cows.

ZEN BUDDHIST has two cows,
he thinks about what to do with them, then they die of starvation.

TAOIST has two cows,
he lets them wander off.

NUDIST has two cows,
he lives in Wyoming.

HARE KRISHNA has two cows,
he names them CONCOURSE A and B.

EVANGELIST has two cows,
he asks for 2,999,998 more so he won't be "called up to heaven" just yet.

PLATONIST has two cows,
he looks for two others to milk.

ARISTOCRIST has two cows,
he sells them, and buys one big one.

AESTHETIST has two cows,
he gets rid of them.

AGNOSTIC has two cows,
big deal, he has two cows.

CATHOLIC has two cows,
they're not as good as your two cows.

PRESBYTERIAN has two cows,
he has a potluck dinner and eats them.

MORMON has two cows,
he slaughters them, sells them, and holds back 10% of the meat and turns it into jerky.

SCIENTOLOGIST has two cows,
they're probably from Venus (and they're not really cows...)

PACIFIST has two cows,
they stampede him.

he can't sell them, fire them, or even label them as cows.

HILLARY CLINTON has two cows,
she robs the ranches and gives everyone 2 cows. If she doesn't have enough, she gives them bull.

BILL CLINTON has two cows,
he makes sure a few Arkansas Highway Patrolmen are outside the door when it happens.