You might be from New Mexico if...
Go back to Brendan's Humor page.
- You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque.
- Your next door neighbor has a sweat lodge in her back yard.
- You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor
that they are going to charge you extra for "international" shipping.
- You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.
- You can order your Big Mac with green chile.
- You buy salsa by the half-gallon.
- You are still using the paper license tag that came with your car five
- Your Christmas decorations include "a yard of sand and 200 paper bags".
- Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los".
- You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.
- The tires on your trailer roof have more tread than the ones on your car.
- You price shop for tortillas.
- You have an extra freezer just for green chile.
- You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
- You believe that using a turn signal is a sign of weakness.
- You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.
- You ran for state legislature so you can speed legally.
- You pass on the right because that's the fast-lane.
- You have read a book while driving from Albuquerque to Santa Fe.
- There is a piece of a UFO displayed in your home.
- You just got your fifth DWI and got elected to the state legislature in
the same week.
- Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.
- You have been on TV more than three times telling about your alien abduction.
- You can actually hear the Taos hum.
- All your out-of-state friends and relatives visit in October.
- You think Las Vegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.
- You iron your jeans to "dress up".
- You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales.
- Your other vehicle is also a pick-up truck.
- Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature the other in
the state pen.
- You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.
- You have driven to an Indian Casino at 3am because you were hungry.
- You know whether you want "red or green."
- You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer
- You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line
around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence
alternates between Spanish and English.
- You know you will run into at least 3 cousins whenever you shop at
Wal-Mart, Sams, or Home Depot.
- Your favorite restaurant has a chile list instead of a wine list.
- You remember when Santa Fe was not like San Francisco.
- You don't make eye contact with other drivers because you can't tell
how well armed they are just by looking.
- You have to sign a waiver to buy hot coffee at a drive-up window.
- You have used aluminum foil and duct tape to repair your air conditioner.
- You can't control your car on wet pavement.
- You wish you had invested in the orange barrel business.
- Your car is missing a fender or bumper.
- You see Gene Hackman, Val Kilmer, and Oprah at the Santa Fe Plaza and
Please consider visiting my sponsors (whom I also visit often and use myself), below...